The Record is Now !2!- 3 - 1! Muahahahahahahahahah!
I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN! And right now I am doing the "I Win!"-dance on the "I Win!"-stage in the theatre of "I Win and You Lose, BROTHER!"
Quick rundown - the Adjudicator and I were on serve well into the awards until at 10:24pm the award for Sound Mixing went to Ray and I was like "NOOOOOOOO!" Fortunately for me, the agony only lasted a minute, because at 10:25pm Salma Hayek sputtered that The Incredibles had just won for Sound Editing. And Hurrah! We were back on serve.
The kill, essentially, came when The Motorcycle Diaries won for Best Original Song - which, like who saw that one coming?? Not a problem for me. The Adjudicator had served up Song and chosen Phantom of the Opera. And I had snickered and shot back with Polar Express. Heh. And that's all it took because we were pretty much on the money for the rest of the night. In the end I got my pick of Jamie Foxx, Morgan Freeman, Cate Blanchett, Eternal Sunshine, and Clint Eastwood. While the Adjudicator only made off with Hilary Swank, Sideways, and Million Dollar Baby. So, just to repeat, in case you didn't know - I BEAT MY BROTHER AT THE ANNUAL OSCAR BET!
About the ceremony - Chris Rock was, uh, funny, I guess. I mean, it wasn't a car crash like Letterman, or a snoozefest like Whoopi. But I thought it would be markedly more funny than it actually ended up being. So I am, I suppose, "whelmed." And overall, the speeches in general were boring. But I think that's because producer Gil Cates had reduced this to such an undignified event with the whole drive-thru approach to awards shows. (And look at how much shorter it made the ceremony! Like, well done Gil.)
Best joke - it's a tie between the joke about handing out the Oscars next year in the parking lot (heh) and saying that Jeremy Irons was a comedic genius (double heh.)
Most Inappropriate Joke - referring to Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek as "the next four presenters." They have breasts. We get it. Eyes rolling and moving on now, please.
Best dressed - I liked Kate Winslet. I didn't think it was too bright. I thought it looked lovely on her. And Hilary Swank looked foxy too. (I mean, for such a mannish looking woman she did pretty well for herself.)
Worst dressed - Adam Duritz looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book, and Orland Bloom looked like he belonged in an oil painting from the 1970s. (Jude Law could have pulled off the tight pants, but not Mr. Bloom.) Men, all you've got to do is put on a tux. It's not that hard! Really! For the women - Laura Linney with the trailer park hair and the mermaid frill thing, like, yuck, what on earth was that?
Most in need of a cookie - Renee Zellweger. EAT YOU ANEMIC WAIF! Please EAT!
Most in need of a haircut - Josh Groban. What is up with the curls in the face thing there? He looks like a much nerdier version of Justin Timberlake back in the early 'N Sync days (if such a thing is possible. Which, on second thought, I don't think it is.)
Oh and Prince was totally stoned.
And I won!
Quick rundown - the Adjudicator and I were on serve well into the awards until at 10:24pm the award for Sound Mixing went to Ray and I was like "NOOOOOOOO!" Fortunately for me, the agony only lasted a minute, because at 10:25pm Salma Hayek sputtered that The Incredibles had just won for Sound Editing. And Hurrah! We were back on serve.
The kill, essentially, came when The Motorcycle Diaries won for Best Original Song - which, like who saw that one coming?? Not a problem for me. The Adjudicator had served up Song and chosen Phantom of the Opera. And I had snickered and shot back with Polar Express. Heh. And that's all it took because we were pretty much on the money for the rest of the night. In the end I got my pick of Jamie Foxx, Morgan Freeman, Cate Blanchett, Eternal Sunshine, and Clint Eastwood. While the Adjudicator only made off with Hilary Swank, Sideways, and Million Dollar Baby. So, just to repeat, in case you didn't know - I BEAT MY BROTHER AT THE ANNUAL OSCAR BET!
About the ceremony - Chris Rock was, uh, funny, I guess. I mean, it wasn't a car crash like Letterman, or a snoozefest like Whoopi. But I thought it would be markedly more funny than it actually ended up being. So I am, I suppose, "whelmed." And overall, the speeches in general were boring. But I think that's because producer Gil Cates had reduced this to such an undignified event with the whole drive-thru approach to awards shows. (And look at how much shorter it made the ceremony! Like, well done Gil.)
Best joke - it's a tie between the joke about handing out the Oscars next year in the parking lot (heh) and saying that Jeremy Irons was a comedic genius (double heh.)
Most Inappropriate Joke - referring to Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek as "the next four presenters." They have breasts. We get it. Eyes rolling and moving on now, please.
Best dressed - I liked Kate Winslet. I didn't think it was too bright. I thought it looked lovely on her. And Hilary Swank looked foxy too. (I mean, for such a mannish looking woman she did pretty well for herself.)
Worst dressed - Adam Duritz looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book, and Orland Bloom looked like he belonged in an oil painting from the 1970s. (Jude Law could have pulled off the tight pants, but not Mr. Bloom.) Men, all you've got to do is put on a tux. It's not that hard! Really! For the women - Laura Linney with the trailer park hair and the mermaid frill thing, like, yuck, what on earth was that?
Most in need of a cookie - Renee Zellweger. EAT YOU ANEMIC WAIF! Please EAT!
Most in need of a haircut - Josh Groban. What is up with the curls in the face thing there? He looks like a much nerdier version of Justin Timberlake back in the early 'N Sync days (if such a thing is possible. Which, on second thought, I don't think it is.)
Oh and Prince was totally stoned.
And I won!
posted by nerdifer at 12:37 a.m.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home